I just want to get my 2g and 0g plugs already,

but I feel so embarrassed going to the mall. I feel more insecure of myself more than ever and it's obviously taking a toll on me because I feel embarrassed if I'm at a store. A couple of days ago I went to Target and I felt so uncomfortable. If someone looked at me I felt like they were judging me or saying something about my weight and I just wanted to leave already. I can't imagine myself at the mall honestly. Everyone looks at you there and I just feel like an ugly duckling compared to everyone else.

Some of my pants fit a little tighter.

You have no idea how horrible I feel. I just want to cry my eyes out and never go out in public.

Abre tus ojos

I seriously need to get my shit straight when it's involving my body. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I hate looking at myself. I just want to go running from here all the way to the other side of the world nonstop to lose all this unnecessary weight. I said I'd be serious this time with losing weight, but these past couple of days have showed me how I can give two shits about losing weight. I honestly do want to lose weight, more than ever. I feel so horrible for all the stuff I ate today I wish I didn't. I've been so bored in this house that all I've been doing is sitting on the fucking couch on my computer and eat and watch tv. What the fuck am I doing? There's no way I'm going to be a size 1 by September. I need to be so serious about this. I'm doing this for myself because it's the only thing that's holding me back from doing a lot of stuff. I'm just cutting back on everything. Whatever.

I'm worried I will always be alone in my life while everyone else is in a relationship.

Ugh

I hate my body can I just want to be a size 1 by the time school starts.